I love to write. I live to write or do I live to love. There is a passion for writing in all of us here. But, a passion to love. We all want to be loved. I want to love. I need to love. I know that if I love, I will be loved. It is difficult to find love, however. There is adoration. There's respect and admiration. And, of course, there is passion. Can all of this be wrapped up in a package and tied with a ribbon of Chemistry? It can! Sadly, it happens rarely.
Chemistry! Chemistry is the catalyst. But, chemistry doesn't always last. It dissipates for one or the other. Often it disappears because one meets another. It dissipates because the one who struck that chord within you lives a million miles away and you cannot touch as often. Or, worse, not at all. More sadness abounds... and heart ache holds its hand. For you lose a piece of your heart whether they leave you or you find that you must leave them.
I have lost and I have left. I had no choice in either. If so, I would have chosen to stay, to love. I will always love regardless. My love is not given frivolously. But, when faced with no choice to be as one, no matter the circumstance, you lose nonetheless. I no longer search for love. Perhaps, I fear loss. But,I fear heart ache most of all. I pray love will find me. But, will it? Can it? After all is said and done, more is said than can be done. For I am not free. I am at the mercy of Compassion. While my Soul continuously bombards me with it's craving for Passion, what it mostly craves... what it cries for is Chemistry. Perhaps, Love will find me when passion and chemistry collide with an absolute understanding of my inordinate compassion. Until then, I write.